Here's to you

Well, here's to you 20's.  I learned so much.  When I started this decade I was so different.  I knew more at the beginning than I do now at the end.  It seems to me that wisdom is largely in realizing that you really don't know very much.  I wouldn't trade a single day in my twenties because each one uniquely added to who I have become, but there is only a handful that I would want to relive. 

There are so many things that will mark this decade of my life in my memory my wonderful husband, our courtship and marriage, the birth of our three beautiful girls, my first house of my own to live in, and the list goes on.  This decade is filled with a lot of struggles, but more triumphs; alot of wrong choices, but more grace; a lot of stepping out on my own, but more of Him carrying me; a lot of fear, but more of His comfort; a lot of doubt, but more of His promises. 

There is so much in these beautiful years that I am grateful for, yet I am more excited for the ones ahead.  I am a different woman now compared to 10 years ago.  I am looking forward to all that He has in store for me.  So here I am 30's!

Clinging to You

Where are You?  I know that their hearts are asking this question, wondering why.  I know that they are struggling to see You and the meaning of it all.  I know that their faith is being tested.  They are questioning.

I know that You are there, but I can't see You in this either.  You said that You would never leave or forsake Your's. You said that You will work all things out for good. I know that You are faithful to Your promises.  I am clinging to them with all I have right now.  For me and for them.  Help us see You in this.

Problems give meaning to life

Obstacles are conditions of success. 

A life free of all obstacles and difficulties would reduce all possibilities and powers to zero. 

Eliminate problems and life loses its creative tension.

-John Maxwell

Exercise

I have realized something.  I am a happier, more energetic person when I excercise.  I seem to get more done with a better attitude on the days I excercise.  I feel better about myself and I make better eating choices.  So why do I have to talk myself into it and then drag myself to the TV for the video EVERYDAY?  It just doesn't make sense.

Best Year Yet

My 2009 was definately the best year yet.  I have a stronger faith, a little more patience, and I realize again how much I really don't know (compared to when I was a teenager, then I knew everything).  I have deeper friendships, a better marriage, and more wonderful girls.

I have let a lot go to gain more of Him.  I have seen just a little more of my Father and realized that He really is proud of me.  I've had more prayers answered and spiritual breakthroughs than ever before.

I see that I have so many areas to grow in.  I fail everyday.  But today I looked back and saw how far I have come and I am so grateful.

I believe that 2010 will be EVEN BETTER.  Because that is the wonderful, beautiful, loving God we serve.

Laughter

After being just days before and it not "feeling like Christmas" to me, it turned out to be really great!!  It was extremely busy, but I am so thankful that I have so much family to share it with. 

I enjoyed watching Bella spend three days with her cousin and go from best friends to fighting and back to best friends, over and over.  Seeing the older girls eyes light up when they opened their presents and being even more excited for each other at their gifts. 

I got to see just how loved the twins are by everyone as they proudly wore their spit-up on Christmas bests.   They were held the whole time.  And though they were exhausted they loved every minute.  Now I have two very spoiled 4 month olds.  One of my favorite presents was both of the girls laughed yesterday for the first time.  How perfect!

I got to spend 3 1/2 days with my family without having to worry about any of the normal day to day things.   It was wonderful.  What a great Christmas!

Small amounts

After many tears of failure and prayers to not mess up the next time, only to find myself "next time" in the same place. I never want to doubt You or let You down. It just seemed that I would collapse under the pressure and start to let doubt in.

But You were growing me through it all, growing my faith. I couldn't see the small amounts being added each time that I failed, but reached out to You. I never realized that part of having faith is being able to turn to You when I fail and believe that You will give me the increase to just reached out to You again the next time. Eventually, all of the small amounts add up to a change in behavior.

Today I could see the increase in myself, the change that You made in me in this weak area. The strengthening of my faith and once again an answer to my prayers.

How good You are to me, so undeserved. I am so grateful!