My trial

Lord, I cry out to you for mercy and redemption. I let the cares of this world take me by the hand. Now the world has come to take it's revenge. How could I have been so weak. Yet i know that You are merciful and forgiving. I ask first for you to forgive me and make me whole. Forgive me for not trusting You and trying to take control. Strengthen me through this. Second I ask for Your mercy and provision to get me through. Provide a way like You always do. Thank You for all You do. I love You!

I get to miss you

You are gone for the weedend and,

I get to spend girl time with Bella.

I get to really get the house cleaned.

I get to catch up on laundry.

I get to hang out with friends.

I get to organize my week.

Now that is all done and now,

I get to miss you.

Letting go

I am holding on to Your word, knowing that You have heard me. I trust Your faithfulness. I am letting go of it and giving it to You. You have placed this desire in my heart. I know that You will bring it to pass.

Ps 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Committ your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."

Great weekends

How better to connect than in a long car ride.

Sometimes I look forward to our trips just for that time. Hours to just talk.

Sitting there, like when we first started dating, just waiting for you to take my hand. But not wanting to ask so that it means more.

Talking about our dreams, the people we will touch, the children we will have, and the blessings we will give.

Looking at where we are and where we have come from and being so grateful for all of God's many blessings.

I would take a trip with you anywhere.

Same Yet Different

We see the same situation and the same facts. We both see all of the possibilities and circumstances. How do we seem to come to such different conclusions. We agree to each other's points. Yet still we see it differently. I guess it is just what we see as important points that lead us to our feelings.

You help me see in ways that I don't normally see. You show me what I miss either completely or just in part. You paint the other half to my picture. Some times it can be a bit frustrating that we rarely agree at first, but then I realize if we did there is a good chance that we were missing something important.

Faithfulness

In the past couple days I have seen an abundance of God's faithfulness to his children. From seemingly unimportant things to life changing blessings. I asked for God to show me my whale. He has definately shown me my beach of starfish instead. It is amazing to see His hand at work everywhere I look. Lord, You truly are faithful.

A Quiet Spirit

A quiet spirit is not natural for me. I almost always have an opinion and without thinking will share it quickly. Over this past year I have been practicing a quiet spirit. I have really focused on restraint of my tongue and put effort into making it a habit.

It is sometimes frustrating when I see that most people do not recognized all of my efforts. Those who are close to me and spend a lot of time with me. I have a lot more to room to grow in this area and still take steps backwards from time to time. Yet looking back just a few years ago I can see much growth.

Then it reminds me how important it is to not allow yourself to get into bad habits. It takes much more time than we would like for others to notice a changed behavior, many times it is long after you began to change. But God does know our hearts and does rewards our efforts, encourages us to keep going, picks us up when we fall, and gives us the strength we need to achieve our goal.

You went on the potty!!

You went on the potty this morning, yeah! I am realizing how time consuming potty training is. It will teach me patience I am sure. And focus as well. I have to remember to keep asking over and over. I have learned the hard way that right now if I don't ask you won't remember.

You looked so proud when you did go and mommy cheered for you. I memory that I will cherish. My little girl is growing up.

I want to be happy for you, but instead my heart aches because I can see the road ahead.
I fear for you the disappointment you are facing. I have been there before.

To remain trusting in Him isn't always easy. To be led through the refinery many times
brings much pain, but as you said His desire is to see His reflection in you.

Why do many times we have to learn the hard way?

Just Learning

I learn new things all the time and wonder how I have missed it for so long. I am now learning this new (for me) way to journal my thoughts and compile my feelings. This life is so awesome. How great is it to be created in His image!