Laughter

After being just days before and it not "feeling like Christmas" to me, it turned out to be really great!!  It was extremely busy, but I am so thankful that I have so much family to share it with. 

I enjoyed watching Bella spend three days with her cousin and go from best friends to fighting and back to best friends, over and over.  Seeing the older girls eyes light up when they opened their presents and being even more excited for each other at their gifts. 

I got to see just how loved the twins are by everyone as they proudly wore their spit-up on Christmas bests.   They were held the whole time.  And though they were exhausted they loved every minute.  Now I have two very spoiled 4 month olds.  One of my favorite presents was both of the girls laughed yesterday for the first time.  How perfect!

I got to spend 3 1/2 days with my family without having to worry about any of the normal day to day things.   It was wonderful.  What a great Christmas!

Small amounts

After many tears of failure and prayers to not mess up the next time, only to find myself "next time" in the same place. I never want to doubt You or let You down. It just seemed that I would collapse under the pressure and start to let doubt in.

But You were growing me through it all, growing my faith. I couldn't see the small amounts being added each time that I failed, but reached out to You. I never realized that part of having faith is being able to turn to You when I fail and believe that You will give me the increase to just reached out to You again the next time. Eventually, all of the small amounts add up to a change in behavior.

Today I could see the increase in myself, the change that You made in me in this weak area. The strengthening of my faith and once again an answer to my prayers.

How good You are to me, so undeserved. I am so grateful!

Refreshed

Yesterday I realized just how much I need my friends and my time at church (even if spent in the nursing mothers room). After a stressful week at home, I had a great weekend spending time with friends and with God. Today I feel like I can handle this week with God's grace and with patience.

Hopefully I will still feel the same way come Wednesday :)

Looking Back

I have found a couple of minutes where there is nothing else to do and I have words to write. Several times I have been sitting here in this chair, looking at this same screen and nothing seemed to come.

This time I was looking back at some of my older posts and I am so thankful for how far God has brought me. He has given me so many of my hearts desires. Especially the one of not letting me sit and spoil, but always changing me, growing me, molding me, stripping me down to the root of things and building back something beautiful. Something only He could have seen in me. Thank you Daddy for always seeing in me what I never could. And thank you for being proud of me, another questioned answered. Thank You for helping me to see You and know You more.

Thank You for this moment with You and this next one with my sweet little girl who is crying for her mommy.