umm...is this really me?

Okay, I did my homework and realized that I have some things to work on. To be expected, right. That is why I am taking the class. Then I get to class and realize that I have A LOT to work on. A bit frustrating.

I do try to control Matt to get my way. I do always give my opinion. I do tell him "I told you so" when he is wrong. I do think that I am right most of the time. Could there be anything else. I realized that I am a pretty selfish person, at least with Matt. I cannot believe that I haven't seen this sooner. I actually though that I was helping him. Wow!

Starting now I am jumping off my self made pedestal and practicing zipping my lip. Next time I take this class I want to say. Wow, this IS me!

Off to Cozumel

We are heading out to sea. I am rushing around trying to get everything together. I always get a little worried I am going to forget something important. Until yesterday I was still unsure if I would be able to go. I am feeling better now. By tomorrow the coughing should be mostly gone.

I have been thinking a lot about how this will go, playing out a few senarios in my mind. Why do I do that anyway none of them ever happen the way I imagine. I don't see that anything is getting better. It looks like maybe even a little worse.

Then I realize that I have taken it back from You. I have tried to see how "I" can work it out. I don't want to work it out, I want You to. I know that You will work all things together for my good if I will keep my hands off of it and let You. So again, I give it back to You, apologizing at my arrogance in thinking I knew better than You. Forgive me for not trusting You. I will humbly put myself back behind You instead of running ahead of You and trying to pull You in my direction. Funny, then I wonder why You aren't answering. Thank you for opening my eyes! I love You and will let You lead.