"I haven't written anything in awhile. Not because there is nothing to say, but because it has been a struggle for me to see the positive lately. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions partly because of the Clomid and partly because the signs keep telling me that it is again not this month. I don't like and am not very good at situations that I can't really change. I always want to fix it. I am a problem solver. "
This is how my post started yesterday. I stopped writing and didn't even publish it because it sounded so drained of faith and hope. I really couldn't even think of much to say that was positive.
God knew yesterday exactly how today would turn out. I wonder why He didn't just give me a good kick and say"Am I not God and have I not taken care of you in bigger situations than these". Instead He let me sit in my negative bubble and still He has given me the best day I have had in months.
I am thankful that once again He has not been fair to me. If God was fair I wouldn't have made it through my teenage years much less be living my dream. I have such a wonderful life. I look around and wonder how could I ever lack in faith. I have so many answered prayers. Especially in these last couple of years. My positive bubble is back and I intend to stay in it!
4 comments:
Good for you Kati...
I need to get in my positive bubble too!
This post touched me in a way I can never explain, I read it with emotion for how you were feeling. I love these little insights.
I love that even when times are "harder" you can stop and remember the positive. I understand your hearts desire, they to have become mine for you. I pray that in every area of your life you feel more than blessed, and in the times you are feeling down, remember that God has given you "new found friendships" (tears are in my eyes, for how good God is) to help give you strength, and hope when it might be tuff. Please remember I am here for you. To just listen, to pray, or encourage. (and maybe to receive the same thing from time to time)
i hope you know what you have brought to "the core"... we all gladly walk this trial with you now, but more importantly, we each can appreciate hope more than ever. you inspire me so much, kati. i can see clearly how God is working this out for your good, even when it doesn't seem fair. and still, i admire your courage, because i know your strength is not your own.
God is always on time... never early, but always on time. i remember that when i think about our friendship and how you existed at the church for all that time- i wish we could have been friends all along... but God had another plan for right now, in this exact season. and i couldn't be more thankful.
no pressure, but i miss your blogs!!!!!
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